gosh xanga is so dead.. or maybe just mine

life is so weird.. some days I'm so happy.. everything is great.. I feel fortunate to b alive and I'm satisfied with what I have.... other days.. I wonder what's the point of life.. why work so hard when the end is all the same... yea weird.. yesterday was a good day..then this morning was bad.... felt unaccomplished n tired n sick.. now it's neutral.. hopefull tomorrow's a good day... mayb i'll like autumn and winter again.. despite the cold, school, shorter days... or not...

looking back at my entries.. wow I've used xanga for five years since 2002. I'm surprised at some of my entries but I guess not really. I mean I'm still the same me. 7th grade was fun.. the summer was spent at the park and I had to baby sit my sister a lot.

8th grade summer 2003 I had a job in New Jersey.. so there wasn't much chilling going on. I was very depressed and pessimistic. In some of the entries I said so many mean things about my mom and was somewhat suicidal.. gosh... I totally forgot about feeling that way. I mean my relationships with my mom has improved... mainly because I'm growing up and she's leaving me alone. I view the world with more hope and I'm more idealistic now.. which is a good thing

2004 summer... I volunteered at the library and didn't really use xanga that much

2005 last summer... went to china

2006 this summer... canada.. work and taking my grandma around new york

gosh time is so fast. It's too bad that i can't recall all the summers in my life. I feel like I've done nothing because all I do is sit around and eat but if I were to write down everything then I could probably fill a whole book.

What is life? the little things that you do everyday.. brushing teeth.. sleeping.. clipping your nail? or is it something more. People that you meet and who influence you. Love? Maybe life is just memories and the happy moments. I mean when I'm 80 all I have would be memories. I wonder why god created humans I mean what's the point if life is so disappointing? Hopefully life becomes more fullfilling later on. i'm not even sure what exactly I'm looking to get out of life ... oish.. I wonder what I would be like in another five years. Would my perspective change at all? would life be more satisfying? can we ever be satisfy or will we always want more and more...

oh man.. almost over with skool... I've been so good... staying home/working/playing with my siblings/studying.... god i'm so sick of all this nice stuff!!!! I want to have fun n soon!!! why isn't the weather hot enough :[

yea completely new topic...

watching this t.v. show n they were asking these girls what they want their lovers to give them, one apple or a basket of apples if apples represent the fruits of love

new topic...

what to do over the summer? I want to learn chinese n get a better job n make more $$ but how!?!?!

-.-"